So, today was going really well. Time to do what we all wanted to do. I made chizo and butter bean soup for lunch and my husband bought more gravel for my allotment paths. At the allotment I planted herbs and potatoes as well as laying gravel on two more pathways.
I delayed going home in the hope that some other bugger i.e my husband might cook dinner. What a stupid thought. I arrived home to find that the boys were all out playing football so I defrosted sausages and phoned my sister in law.
My man arrived home and magnanimously put the sausages in the oven as well as tidying the kitchen. Although, when I say tidy I don't actually mean anything as radical as wiping surfaces or clearing completely ...
So then things went from me being grumpy ... to worse. My son went downhill rapidly which had the domino effect of making both my husband and I touchy. Then my older son tried to put food on my younger son's plate and my husband had a go at him, telling him, finally to "shut up". What a knob. There is just no call for such aggressive behaviour and it pisses me off completely.
At times like this I have to choose my battles as my husband has the propensity to sulk for days. Son #1 went upstairs and stayed there. I followed him and did my best to talk him round. Then I came down to talk to my husband. I told him that things were tough for all of us, including our eldest, and that he was unnecessarily aggressive to him. Of course that precipitated the emergence of the martyr which pissed me off even more. Sometimes it is like dealing with another child, and a pretty stupid one at that.
I hope to God he never finds this blog or I'm in deep doo doo.
To give him his due he went upstairs and told son #1 that he loved him. He is a fundamentally good man. Its just that he finds it hard to cope with a son who is an intelligent young man.
Right now we are on separate sofas with him watching the Masters Golf ( YAWN!!!) and me on my lap top. Some days I just wish I could walk away from all this.
Relationships are so hard. I have yet to write that post but it's coming!
ReplyDeleteThe compromise for having a husband/boyfriend and all the lovely rewarding things that come with it, is that sometimes you have to deal with someone who acts like an utter prick. I sometimes wonder if I'm up for it and I don't even have any kids on top, so I can only imagine how hard it must often be to look after a family.
I saw (and still see) my Mum slaving away unappreciated whilst her own needs and dreams fell by the wayside. I got roped into domesticity when I was young and decided very early that looking after men wasn't something I aspired to - we have to shoulder the lion's share whatever people say & however 'helpful' men think they are!
I know it's easy for me to say sitting here unmarried with no kids and and (theoretically) able to walk away at any time, but the compromises and rewards are so much heavier when you have a family which is why I didn't go down that route.
It's a kind of 'put up or shut up' situation at home where the consequences of both weigh so heavily but at least you can talk here. I find just being able to vent a bit get's it out of my head and makes things a bit clearer. There are no consequences here. You haven't used your real name on anything so nobody can find you - pus it sounds like your husband wouldn't know where to start looking! x
Its weird. The good outweighs the bad and although I let rip on here yesterday I do love my man very much. Sometimes its just hard to try and be everything to everyone and the whole sulking thing really irritates me.I am glad to have this place so I can let my feelings out and then return to the fray.I know what I want and my man is definitely someone I love and need. He's just not perfect, but if he was I'd probably still find something to be fed up with! This is all part of life - finding my way thru the tough bits. S
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