I feel exhausted. We have been away for a few days visiting my brother and this evening my son is like a shadow. I have been snuggling with him and then took him up to bed. Now my husband is with him.
I cannot believe this is the same boy I have known and nurtured for 12 years. Our appointment with the counsellor is 9th May. 28 days to wait. Jesus Christ. And this is an urgent referral.
I feel past crying. Past anything but emptiness. He sat in the back seat of the car on the way home, silently dripping tears. He is worried about everything, sad about everything. He is only 12 for fucks sake.
We just have to keep loving him, keep reassuring him.
When he has bad days like this its hard to remember the good days.
I think I'm more amazed that not all children are like this. Once you realise how the World is it's hard not to be plunged into a pit of despair. I used to cry myself to sleep every night when I was young thinking about all the horrible things that were happening in the World and all the pain and suffering that had gone before.
ReplyDeleteKeep hanging in there my friend. x
Thank you.x
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