Bullying in the work place.

How do you fight against lies? What do you do when your immediate superior lies about things you have supposedly done, not done, said or not said? How do you fight against someone who feeds a steady drip of very believable lies to those around you?

There are days when my heart beats out of my chest as I approach my place of work. I am just beginning to realise that this person has been making allegations against me for months. I have never been told to my face that I am doing anything wrong. When I have asked if I can do more to help I have been told no, you are doing everything that is asked of you.

I can take criticism - I am not perfect, I know that. But I will not consent to lies being put on my permanent record as fact. When you are being bullied I am beginning to realise that the onus of proof is on the person being bullied. Nobody can understand how much shit you go through before you even think of going for help. And when help is not forthcoming ... Its bloody awful.

When there are only the two of you party to the behaviour that constitutes bullying then it is your word against theirs. It is exhausting. I want to quit my job, but I don't feel I should be pushed out.

What is happening to me? My son up and down, needing my love and support and me finding it hard enough to get myself up in the morning, never mind look after him. Thank God for my husband who is strong for us both. He has been wonderful lately - so caring and loving. This is like a hideous nightmare.

I have been told not to speak of this situation so as not to undermine my superior. I can understand that to a certain extent, but it is putting unbearable pressure on me to put on a happy face all the time. There has been no investigation into my claims.

I am so pissed off. I don't want to go my union route as I just want to come in and do my job - not cause a huge stink. If I went that way how could I continue to work at this place? They would hate me for rocking the boat. How can you fight someone who lies so consummately? She is beating me.

Update.

I haven't been on here for a while as life has been very busy. My son continues to be up and down in his behaviour, but I think I can say, with relief, that the trend appears to be a positive and upwards one. Thank Goodness. I am almost afraid to write that down in case its bad luck, but I think its the truth.

Its still pretty exhausting at times, but he is getting slowly better. Tomorrow we have our first appointment with CAMHS ( Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service) which will be interesting. Fingers crossed.

I have deleted my last post regarding my work situation. Although I know that I am in the right and have done nothing wrong I feel very uncomfortable even speaking about it to the powers that be, never mind writing about it. Even anonymous posts are too dangerous so its best I stay schtum.

Its not over yet, but I hope it soon will be.